‘Name it to Tame it’

Living through these difficult and unforeseeable times, many of us (of all ages) are experiencing increased anxiety, with shorter fuses and more melt-downs. When we’re in an intense emotional state, we move into the fear-driven and limbic-brain activated stress response (ie fight-flight-freeze). These intense reactions are linked to our evolutionary threat-response systems. They can ‘hijack’ us and prevent us from thinking rationally.

The phrase and technique ‘name it to tame it’ is from psychiatrist Dr Daniel Siegel.  It’s a great tip for managing strong negative emotions. This technique involves noticing you are having a strong emotional response and then naming it, eg ‘I feel really anxious about the news’ or ‘I’m really worried about next week’s presentation’. You can also describe the physical sensations you are aware of, eg ‘My stomach feels clenched and I feel a bit nauseous’.

We don’t need to explain or judge our feelings, just notice them. It’s a way to bring compassion and gentle curiosity to your own inner experiences. We connect to ourselves in empathetic and self-validating way. For children, you could help them connect to their feelings by empathetic guesses, eg ‘was it really scary when the dog suddenly barked so loudly?’

Noticing and naming engages your prefrontal cortex (the executive, reasoning brain) and gives you time to better assess the situation. It provides a breathing space and access to more choices about what to do next. Dr Siegel says that this process works at a biological level by “squirting soothing neurotransmitters” to soothe the brain.  

For further information, check out Dr Siegel’s books, including The Whole-Brain Child and Mindset. Also this video of Dr Siegel explaining how to use this technique to help children (helpful for adults too!): https://heartmindonline.org/resources/strong-emotions-name-it-to-tame-it